Where Am I?, NM

Bianca-

White flags of surrender from the middle of nowhere! Literally, B, I'm in a place with no cell phone towers somewhere between the largest nuclear bomb plant in the world (seriously, the atom bomb was developed in these here hills), Sante Fe, and a city name I've never been able to spell (think large city in New Mexico that starts with an A).

Though I'm almost completely secluded from the world, luckily, Algebra's family has wi-fi. Oh, did I mention I'm with Algebra in New Mexico on a little vacay? Yep! I'm vacationing with the boyfriend for the next week or so. We're hitting all the New Mexico hot spots (before his mom moves back to civilization and cell phone towers) and then my favorite city (third to San Diego and Sydney), DENVER!

We're flying to Denver on Friday to spend some time with my fav cousin, her husband The Australian and Algebra's wild and crazy recent college grad cousins. Between an Aussie and two recent grads, I hope I can keep up (booze and sleep deprivation wise).

In any event, don't tell anyone, but I'm half liking the no cell service. It's kind of like our no cell phone nights in Vegas. Truly care free and in the moment, but as soon as I'm in wi-fi range, I'm plugged in and waiting for people to respond to my texts.

New Mexico is stunning. I thought it'd be a lot like the drive between Utah and Vegas, but no! I'm at the mouth of a National Forest! Wow! So pretty! We've been running to hiking trails, springs and until our lungs burn (which is about a block). The elevation here is close to 7,000 and dude, I'm feeling it.

In other awesome news, Algebra's mom whipped out the old photos... ha! Let's just say that my bearded, tan devoid boyfriend has not always been so low maintenance. I have photographic evidence that he used to have a serious bromance with himself, use more hair gel than necessary for any human, and was channelling Ben Affleck (seriously, I did a double take). HILARIOUS! Can you say puka shell necklace?

Today, Algebra and I are going on a romantic getaway to a quaint cabin belonging to his family that sleeps around 20. (Can it be called a cabin at that point?) Then we're heading to Taos, which I hear is like New Mexico's equivalent to Park City. I've also heard that Julia Roberts and Donald Bumsfeld live up there and a few other choice celebs. I think Julia and I would make really great bff's.

Cell phone leaving, high elevation climbing and giant bug spotting,
Bridget

Beardtramony

Good afternoon!

Happy almost 4th of July weekend! Also, happy detox week. I can't believe how hard we partied in Vegas. My liver hurts. But it was incredible as usual and I can't wait to go back. I'm loving that QDW nabbed herself a hot Aussie. I'm going to live vicariously through her on that one.
Vacation Bests: Encore pool party, being the only white girls in the dance circle, hookah, moon tans.
Vacation Worsts: $17 cocktails, death heels, week long hangover that I'm still experiencing.

I just got the text about your agenda today. Did I mention that I hate you? Beause I hate you. You = at home watching the Snapped (my favorite show ever) marathon while packing for a fabulous two week romantic getaway. Me = working on deadline. I'm quitting my job so I can shape young minds as a 4th grade teacher. But mostly quitting my job so I can sit on my couch and watch Snapped marathons all summer. I talked to my mom this morning and, weird, she's watching TV marathons too (of the Weeds variety). She's really milking this hip-replacement surgery for all it's worth. I did her online shopping for her today while my brother ran all of her errands. At least she's smart enough not to feel sorry for herself, she's loving this.

Are you excited for the wedding this weekend? I actually can't believe you're going. Not only were you un-bridesmaided, but she's marrying a closet gay (if you can call it closet, he wears boas and his name is literally an anagram for Gayer). And on top of all that dysfunction, she's getting married on July 4th weekend and sent out an email detailing what wedding guests should wear... down to the color. Can you say, Bridezilla? I have debated whether or not to go, but I'm a firm believer that if I don't get a real invitation in the mail, I have no obligation to buy you a gift and attend your beardtramony.

Snowball is having an interview at doggie day care today. All of the doggies were so excited to see their new friend, but no, not Snowball. He wanted nothing to do with those heathens. I raised a selfish little mamas boy. If that snuggly little bastard doesn't pass, this girl will be celebrating 4th of July weekend alone at home while the rest of her friends and family get day drunk while riding beach cruisers in paradise. (I exaggerate. But it will feel that way when I'm at home with Snowball watching Snapped marathons.)

Sunshine, popsicles and closet gays,

Bianca.