Where Am I?, NM

Bianca-

White flags of surrender from the middle of nowhere! Literally, B, I'm in a place with no cell phone towers somewhere between the largest nuclear bomb plant in the world (seriously, the atom bomb was developed in these here hills), Sante Fe, and a city name I've never been able to spell (think large city in New Mexico that starts with an A).

Though I'm almost completely secluded from the world, luckily, Algebra's family has wi-fi. Oh, did I mention I'm with Algebra in New Mexico on a little vacay? Yep! I'm vacationing with the boyfriend for the next week or so. We're hitting all the New Mexico hot spots (before his mom moves back to civilization and cell phone towers) and then my favorite city (third to San Diego and Sydney), DENVER!

We're flying to Denver on Friday to spend some time with my fav cousin, her husband The Australian and Algebra's wild and crazy recent college grad cousins. Between an Aussie and two recent grads, I hope I can keep up (booze and sleep deprivation wise).

In any event, don't tell anyone, but I'm half liking the no cell service. It's kind of like our no cell phone nights in Vegas. Truly care free and in the moment, but as soon as I'm in wi-fi range, I'm plugged in and waiting for people to respond to my texts.

New Mexico is stunning. I thought it'd be a lot like the drive between Utah and Vegas, but no! I'm at the mouth of a National Forest! Wow! So pretty! We've been running to hiking trails, springs and until our lungs burn (which is about a block). The elevation here is close to 7,000 and dude, I'm feeling it.

In other awesome news, Algebra's mom whipped out the old photos... ha! Let's just say that my bearded, tan devoid boyfriend has not always been so low maintenance. I have photographic evidence that he used to have a serious bromance with himself, use more hair gel than necessary for any human, and was channelling Ben Affleck (seriously, I did a double take). HILARIOUS! Can you say puka shell necklace?

Today, Algebra and I are going on a romantic getaway to a quaint cabin belonging to his family that sleeps around 20. (Can it be called a cabin at that point?) Then we're heading to Taos, which I hear is like New Mexico's equivalent to Park City. I've also heard that Julia Roberts and Donald Bumsfeld live up there and a few other choice celebs. I think Julia and I would make really great bff's.

Cell phone leaving, high elevation climbing and giant bug spotting,
Bridget

Best Night in SLC... ever!

Dear Bianca,

Friday may have been the best night ever. Who would have ever guessed that I would say that about a night in Salt Lake City (usually our grand events occur out of the SL,UT) at The Hotel!? (Not our usual hot spot, sorry Mr. Borreson.) We had been hyping up this event for the whole week and most of the time our hype is bigger than our reality and expectations are never quite met (see: New Year’s), but man oh man… Friday rocked my whole world. The bands were awesome, the crowd was kick ass and the drinks were free! Thank you, Hotel!

The drama our friends created was spectacular. QDW made out with two giant redheads (and maybe a few other people – who’s counting?), but who can find one giant red head worthy of a little kissy kissy at the bar, let alone TWO. I’m downright proud. I love how she calls herself “junior high slutty.” It’s dead on. She kisses a lot of cute boys and then is finished with them. Not only is it a hilarious form of entertainment for us (especially when it happens in public), but it’s very responsible of her, I never have to worry about our Bestie coming down with a scary STD. Go QDW.

Confession: QDW’s screaming and door slamming later on in the evening (read: early morning) that you had to deal with, yeah I’m going to go ahead and take responsibility for that. I’m sorry Miss Bianca. I should have confessed when you called on your walk home (long after I was cozy in bed) to tell me about her outburst (complete with her screaming in the background). It's my fault, you see, every free (thanks to all of you who made this possible) drink I was given I took two sips and then passed it to QDW. Also, I apologize for getting us shots downstairs (fa free, thanks well dressed man trying to keep us in the bar) and then dodging out. All of this contributed to the stomping, yelling and screaming (that was pretty hilarious to hear from the comfort of my bed). In any event, I surely would have been drinking my own drinks and meandering home with you wonderful girls if I didn’t have that pesky 5K the next morning.

Next order of business: The STOLEN vase in my living room. World, this is what I woke up to when I was trying to get ready for the first race of my running career.



I live in a very expensive and very secure apartment building, and whoever stole this from my lobby and then put it in my living room for me to find the next day (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, FUNNY GIRL) is in big trouble! As hilarious as this is, it’s not that hilarious because I was given a verbal warning (which was written in my file) by my apartment manager. For the record – it goes verbal warning, written warning, and then @$$ kicked to the street. I need not remind you that I am on a month to month lease and can be kicked out at anytime. Please leave your hilarious vase stealing to outside of my apartment, because I really don’t think you’ll like helping me move (I have a lot of heavy ish).

Epic disappointment of the week: Shu Uemura pulling out of not only Nordstrom, but the entire United States! What the hell, L'Oréal?! I get it, you need to focus on your more “successful” high end brands in the States, but seriously, how am I supposed to get ready for our wonderful night expeditions without the Tokyo Lash Bar? I know MAC has some lashes to choose from, but blah, I’m over MAC and you should be, too. Plus, their foundation makes me break out like crayzay so I couldn’t have them do a full makeover like the wonderful people at the Shu Uemura counter at Nordy’s {stomp and pout}.

{Sigh} Everything seems boring compared to Friday night, but maybe that’s just because it’s Tuesday and that's always boring. Did you hear QDW took the day off? Lucky girl.

See you at yoga,

Bridget

P.S. I finally got my beach cruiser put together, thanks to Mr. Algebra. Our biker gang is now complete.

Less Dancing, More Social Working

Hello Tan and Relaxed Friend,

Welcome home! That was the best trip we've had in a long time. We didn't get a cloud the whole weekend. And while my spray tan has almost completey washed off, I still have tanlines from our marathon pool-laying session. Even though QDW didn't find herself a rich husband, the trip was still a 10.

After getting made fun of at our favorite new Palm Springs hot spot, "Cougars", I've started thinking more and more about my dancing skills. All these years I thought I was a good dancer, but I'm starting to realize that maybe I was wrong. Maybe when people were pointing and laughing it wasn't because they were jealous of my fashions, maybe it was because I suck. I read an article that says that good dancing is simply having fun. Take for instance, Cameron Diaz. She's lurpy and uncoordinated, but still looks adorable when she dances. But then I watch the video you took of my solo in the dance circle, and It's just terrible. I'm a bad dancer. There's no kind way to put it. I'm Elaine. This is a huge existential moment for me. Unless we're drunk and/or in Vegas, I'm quitting the dance game. It's just one of the many changes I will make in my life in the year oh ten.

Bridget, I'm quitting my job to become a social worker. Preston and I watched Precious last night, and it was one of those life changing movies. The same way The Blindside made me want to adopt a troubled teen and BLOW made me want to kill myself. After seeing Precious, I want to help people. The other half of the day when I wasn't decoding graphic design files, I was searching for careers in the Helping Industry. After four missed deadlines and two weeks of mastering graphic design, I'm quitting the marketing game and becoming a social worker. We might not be able to take such extravagant vacations anymore (well any vacations at all for that matter) on my new salary, but I will sleep better at night knowing that I'm making the world a better place.

In unrelated Prius news, mine is broken. The spedometer is reporting impossibly high speeds. I never thought I'd have to repair my favorite robot, but it looks like I'm finally going to have to meet the service staff at Toyota.

Peace, Love and Pri'i,
Bianca the Social Worker.

Apples, Chips and Other Valentine's Objects

Dear Bridget and Bianca,

Oh dear sisters of the sorority variety! I'm missing you here on the other side of the country! I'm so glad I'm able to keep up with your email correspondence, but I've been lacking some of my own.

I've been neglecting telling this story for awhile, but I think it's time that the truth comes out. While the two of you were with your respective Valentine's on Single Awareness Day, my story, was much different.

As I am a single girl in the city of cities (NYC... duh) I planned a Valentine's to remember... with my other single girls. We started the day, innocent enough, with a delicious brunch. Well. At said brunch, I got a little tipsy. Okay. I got drunk. Fine. I was flat out wasted and dancing (the ONLY one dancing) before noon. Needless to say I was kindly asked to vacate the premises.

I wish the story ended there.

Sadly, that's just the beginning.

I later woke up in my overpriced Manhattan apartment at 9:00 pm and still don't remember exactly how I got there. When I arose, I felt sick and rushed the the bathroom. That's when it happened. A chip (that I don't remember eating) lodged in the back of my throat and I was sure I was about to choke to death.

Fearing my impending death, I walked to the police station in my neighborhood (I know, holy unbelievable, this is partially why it has taken me so long to tell you both). I was thrust into the back of a police car and taken to the emergency room of the hospital (yes, the hospital, stop laughing b*tches). There, the kind doctors gave me apple sauce and apple juice to dissolve the (could have been) fatal chip.

Thankfully, the next morning I awakened. I could still feel the chip, but had a very clean airway.

I'm writing to tell my story and so you know I'm alive. In case some other chip (or other foreign object) should ever lodge it's way into my throat, someone will at least know of this story.

I hope this email finds you both safe and sound (and chip free) in SLC!

Loving apples and the Big Apple,
SLCinNYC

After the Mermaid...

P.P.S. Here's what happened "after the mermaid." Yes, Bianca my dear, that's you, face down, in the peach dress. You successfully took out your two best friends ten feet from the hotel room. In exchange for an ugly bruise on my knee, I snapped a picture. You're welcome. I'm really surprised you didn't mess up the nose that Dr. Amir worked so hard to create.